WIld, wild, summer

So it has been several months since I have been on my blog.  I must say, this summer has been wild!  Between working, chasing the little girl around, visiting with my family both here in IL and going to NC,  I have been busy!

I have decided to do a little business venture of my own to make a little extra cash and have fun doing it.  I have become a Pampered Chef consultant!  I am excited because I get to be my own boss.  My goal is to be able to make enough money to at least go down to part time as a pharmacist and spend more time with my baby girl.  She is growing up soooo fast and it scares me to think that I might miss it all.  I am patiently waiting for my new consultant kit to come in the mail and once it does I will have a website up and running for those who would like to order.  If you or any one would like to host a live show or a catalog party let me know!

Till next time

Bernadette

Mother's Day

So Sunday is Mother's Day and it will be my official 2nd Mother's Day as a mommy.  This past year has been a wild, crazy ride but soooo worth it!  It is so funny because I now think in terms of BC and AC (Before Child and After Child) and I think how much my life has changed AC.   BC, I had the freedom to come and go as please, my paycheck went to ME, and if I didn't feel like eating dinner, I didn't cook!  Now as I have entered the AC phase of my life, I worry about childcare if I want to go out, appropriate TV shows and toys for young children, being responsible for someone else's well-being, and doing things even if I don't feel well or feel like it.  To some, BC is the only way to go and I respect that.  Motherhood/parenting is not for everyone and I certainly don't criticize those who voluntarily opt to be child-free.  For me, however, while I sometimes think of my carefree days BC, my life AC certainly outweighs any desire to go back to that life.  Even though posts on my facebook talk about the woes of potty training or the mischief my child gets into, when I look into those beautiful big brown eyes that smile and say "mommy I love you"  my heart melts.  Parenting is the most rewarding job for me out there and even when she destroys my house, hearing those 4 words makes the mess go away, the frustration of being overwhelmed and overworked and sometimes, under appreciated go away and all I can see is how rewarding and fulfilling life AC has been for me.

This Mother's Day also makes me think of my own relationship with my mother and how we are the best of friends now.  I feel I can go to my mother and talk about anything and she will always have my back and will be honest with me.  I want that same relationship with my daughter.  I want to be open and honest with her and vice versa.  I think of all that my mother has gone through and what she has sacrificed for mine and my brothers' happiness at the expense, sometimes, of her own.  There is nothing like a mother's love.  To carry a child within you or to mother a child, not your biological own, does something to you and your spirit- it is indescribable.  So Happy Mother's Day to all those wonderful mothers!  I am waving to my BC and enjoying this Motherhood ride even with the ups and downs it may bring.  When I watch my chid sleep-----all I can say is the ride is very much worth it!

Potty training woes

So my wee one is 21 months today!  She has shown an interest in potty training for the last month and half but my husband and I have not been successful in getting her to do the deed on the pot yet.  Today was quite comical, though.  As usual I tried to get her to sit on her potty before her bath and after she ate to which she very vocally said "No!" While I was sitting here checking some things on my computer she comes into the family and looks at me and said "Mommy I pooped!"  She then proceeded to go to her room so I could change her diaper!  Ugh!

Julia- 24,000 vs Mommy- 0 in case you are keeping score

I think it is time for me to win at least ONE battle!

Julia get ready!

Taking lessons from my one year old

It is amazing how a 1-year old's mind works!  Today, Julia and I got up and went to early church  (my husband had to work today) and during service, she was as lively as always- singing, clapping her hands and, yes, even throwing out the occasionally yell which I would interpret to being her version of "Amen!"  Before, when we would go to service, I would often try to whisper to her to be quiet or talk softer so as to not draw attention to herself (or me for that matter) until one of the church ladies tactfully informed me to leave her alone and let her worship as she wants!  Those who know me know that I have a tendency to be a little uptight so this was a very hard concept to swallow, but, not wanting to go against this very wise church member, I have decided to let my daughter "worship" as she pleases!  It would be very unwise for me to go against my church ladies! :)  Since taking that advice I soon realized that Julia wasn't misbehaving but indeed attentive to service and acting out as she saw others doing and others found it refreshing to see a little person yelling out when the pastor yelled out "Amen!"  I decided to lighten up just a little.

I have taken this mindset not just in church but wherever we are.  I have learned not to be so uptight and just let my daughter be a kid!  After church, it was still early enough to still be breakfast time, so Julia and I went to a local breakfast eatery for a late breakfast.  My daughter, as always, was the center of attention, yelling out "hey!" to everyone and singing her ABCs and other songs.  Various people from other tables would stop to speak to her and she gobbled it up!  Afterwards she looked at me with such happiness and said "Mommy!" and kissed my cheek.  I just LOVE the innocence and pure joy she has!  She is enjoying her life and I don't want to smother the energy she is wanting to let out.  Watching her today made me smile and it made me realize sometimes you just have to let loose and have fun no matter where you are.  Today, I thank Julia for making me smile and making me loosen up just a little bit more.

Counting My Blessings

So today I decided to create a blog.  I have always wanted to sit down and sort my thoughts into some organized fashion but I always managed to come up with an excuse- "I don't have time!" or "Maybe tomorrow!"  I mean, who would really be interested in anything I wrote about besides me?  I remember long ago dreaming of being a writer, either writing a book or writing a news column for a big time newspaper.  I, instead, decided to follow paths more traveled and get a "practical job."  Ok, well I am deviating from my topic...

Today I had an"ah ha!" moment, a moment in which I took pause and started to reflect on my life.  I have lately been a very negative person, complaining about this or about that, getting irritated with my job and everything associated with it, getting irritated with the weather (but, then, who doesn't get irritated with that!), etc, etc.  I began to not even like being around myself I was so negative!  With the melodrama life can throw at you, it is very easy to get lost in the negativity and start being a negative nellie.  My "ah ha!" moment came to me late last night as I was checking my Facebook page (one of my many addictions) and came across the post of one of my FB friends, asking us to pray for one of my former supervisors who's son is now awaiting a second heart transplant- at almost 3 years old.  It was that moment that I took a pause.  I went to the posted website and began to read about Skylar's story and how he was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and received a heart transplant at 3 months old.  I scrolled down the many pictures of this very vibrant little boy who was just enjoying his life despite such a dramatic start and then to read on to see that he is now in heart failure and is in need of a heart transplant for a second time at almost 3 years old and it was reading this that I simply paused....

I took a moment after scrolling the website to reflect on life and began to realize the things that were irritating me in recent weeks pale in comparison to what this little boy and his family are going through.  It took me looking at this little boy's face and seeing him smile and laugh despite what life has tossed him to realize how to cherish and enjoy my life despite what is thrown at me.  I am taking time now to count my blessings and thank God for giving me a wonderful family and magnificent friends to share my life with.  I am grateful to have a beautiful and healthy baby girl to love and dote on.  I have a good paying job in a time in which the job market is a wee bit unstable and for that I am grateful.  I am blessed beyond belief and it took this little boy I don't even know to make me stop and realize that.  It was my "ah ha" moment.

I realize that in a split second that all that is good can quickly turn to bad, but I have to sort through that and be grateful for even the smallest things.  So I am going to blog, not because I hope that someone else will read what I have to say, but to make me sit back, calm down, and find what is good among all that can be bad.  I don't want to be that negative person I was becoming because I didn't like her that much as I am sure those closest to me did not either! ;)


Here's to living life to the fullest!
Bernie