Taking lessons from my one year old

It is amazing how a 1-year old's mind works!  Today, Julia and I got up and went to early church  (my husband had to work today) and during service, she was as lively as always- singing, clapping her hands and, yes, even throwing out the occasionally yell which I would interpret to being her version of "Amen!"  Before, when we would go to service, I would often try to whisper to her to be quiet or talk softer so as to not draw attention to herself (or me for that matter) until one of the church ladies tactfully informed me to leave her alone and let her worship as she wants!  Those who know me know that I have a tendency to be a little uptight so this was a very hard concept to swallow, but, not wanting to go against this very wise church member, I have decided to let my daughter "worship" as she pleases!  It would be very unwise for me to go against my church ladies! :)  Since taking that advice I soon realized that Julia wasn't misbehaving but indeed attentive to service and acting out as she saw others doing and others found it refreshing to see a little person yelling out when the pastor yelled out "Amen!"  I decided to lighten up just a little.

I have taken this mindset not just in church but wherever we are.  I have learned not to be so uptight and just let my daughter be a kid!  After church, it was still early enough to still be breakfast time, so Julia and I went to a local breakfast eatery for a late breakfast.  My daughter, as always, was the center of attention, yelling out "hey!" to everyone and singing her ABCs and other songs.  Various people from other tables would stop to speak to her and she gobbled it up!  Afterwards she looked at me with such happiness and said "Mommy!" and kissed my cheek.  I just LOVE the innocence and pure joy she has!  She is enjoying her life and I don't want to smother the energy she is wanting to let out.  Watching her today made me smile and it made me realize sometimes you just have to let loose and have fun no matter where you are.  Today, I thank Julia for making me smile and making me loosen up just a little bit more.

Counting My Blessings

So today I decided to create a blog.  I have always wanted to sit down and sort my thoughts into some organized fashion but I always managed to come up with an excuse- "I don't have time!" or "Maybe tomorrow!"  I mean, who would really be interested in anything I wrote about besides me?  I remember long ago dreaming of being a writer, either writing a book or writing a news column for a big time newspaper.  I, instead, decided to follow paths more traveled and get a "practical job."  Ok, well I am deviating from my topic...

Today I had an"ah ha!" moment, a moment in which I took pause and started to reflect on my life.  I have lately been a very negative person, complaining about this or about that, getting irritated with my job and everything associated with it, getting irritated with the weather (but, then, who doesn't get irritated with that!), etc, etc.  I began to not even like being around myself I was so negative!  With the melodrama life can throw at you, it is very easy to get lost in the negativity and start being a negative nellie.  My "ah ha!" moment came to me late last night as I was checking my Facebook page (one of my many addictions) and came across the post of one of my FB friends, asking us to pray for one of my former supervisors who's son is now awaiting a second heart transplant- at almost 3 years old.  It was that moment that I took a pause.  I went to the posted website and began to read about Skylar's story and how he was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and received a heart transplant at 3 months old.  I scrolled down the many pictures of this very vibrant little boy who was just enjoying his life despite such a dramatic start and then to read on to see that he is now in heart failure and is in need of a heart transplant for a second time at almost 3 years old and it was reading this that I simply paused....

I took a moment after scrolling the website to reflect on life and began to realize the things that were irritating me in recent weeks pale in comparison to what this little boy and his family are going through.  It took me looking at this little boy's face and seeing him smile and laugh despite what life has tossed him to realize how to cherish and enjoy my life despite what is thrown at me.  I am taking time now to count my blessings and thank God for giving me a wonderful family and magnificent friends to share my life with.  I am grateful to have a beautiful and healthy baby girl to love and dote on.  I have a good paying job in a time in which the job market is a wee bit unstable and for that I am grateful.  I am blessed beyond belief and it took this little boy I don't even know to make me stop and realize that.  It was my "ah ha" moment.

I realize that in a split second that all that is good can quickly turn to bad, but I have to sort through that and be grateful for even the smallest things.  So I am going to blog, not because I hope that someone else will read what I have to say, but to make me sit back, calm down, and find what is good among all that can be bad.  I don't want to be that negative person I was becoming because I didn't like her that much as I am sure those closest to me did not either! ;)


Here's to living life to the fullest!
Bernie